She was plump, blousy and Cockney to the core. Although a child, I was blessed with a photographic memory and snapshot morsels of my childhood are etched like engravings within my brain…I feel at liberty to confidently express them. We would traipse through to Grandma’s kitchen in a little crocodile, giggling and skipping excitedly through the parlour…’come on me’ ducks’ she would say as she led us to Nirvana. Jimmy the huge white cat would tag along optimistically – his size entirely due to his capacious appetite – omnivorous as a bear, he would devour anything organic which crossed his path. To reach the kitchen you passed through the Parlour with its Oak dado panelling, pictures of Kent & Suffolk life, a brick-built inglenook and an enormous American Oak table. We grew to love this place …playing card games, Escalado and dominoes in this warm and wonderful space, light years away from our 20th century experimental existence in Glasgow. Grandma would sit us around the Kitchen. Anyway, it’s not a weekend, the preseason isn’t real football, and I’d much rather eat and drink.”“Me too, son. Me too. What are we drinking, anyway?”“Don’t you want to guess?”“Oh hell no. You and Kathryn keep having your fun, and I’ll keep stealing an extra glass while your eyes are closed and your backs are turned. I’ll be satisfied with you telling me what it is.”As Sunday made all too clear, his hyperactive brain’s automatic translation of innocuous sentences into either innuendo or pointed commentary was unavoidable. But because he was prepared for it this time, Luke didn’t even suffer a twitch from the dual implications of fun-having and back-turning. Instead, he kept the focus on the wine. “I feel a little bad that she’s not here for it, but it’s the 1990 Léoville Barton Saint-Julien. You’ve got more, so I hope she’ll forgive me. Speaking of which, why are you here gnawing on dead bovine muscles rather than playing your nightly game of pin the bowtie on the donkey?”“Son, I.
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